I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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