you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
