Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
