I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize