if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
