you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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