Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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