He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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