Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she peed on how many people?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
