I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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