yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
