come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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