but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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