Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
