If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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