he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
