do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
