Cold hands, warm shart.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
