i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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