I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
