but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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