yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
