with your own penis?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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