Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
