Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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