don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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