You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
