Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In America we eat man semen.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
