can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
