she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
