I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
