in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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