i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
