After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
