You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
