She said her name was "party"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
