idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
