Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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