So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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