i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
