I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
