I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think people are normalizing furries
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