she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
