oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
