did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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