I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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