Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
