He disabled his match.com account in front of me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
