he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize