I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
