Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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