Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
