Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
