At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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