he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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