I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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