so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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