That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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