do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
