Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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