There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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