pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
