I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This is the high leading the old right now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
