somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
