we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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