why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow