you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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