I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
