Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.