Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just invented taco cereal.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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