after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?