Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
